The Shack Up
We all know that dating in New York City is #1, and what does dating lead to? Shacking up! (Um, sorry Grandma.) At first, it’s perfect – you’re bonding with your sweetie AND saving bucks on rent. What could be better? Until, wait…what is he doing? Clipping his toenails in the nude at the kitchen table? Or maybe you didn’t quite realize that when she said she loved cats, she meant it in an “I can’t leave the apartment until Mr. Muggles says it’s okay” kind of way.
In other words, sometimes shacking up can lead to breaking up. And when that happens, you’ll want to get away from those nasty toenails and mind-control kitties pronto. Sometimes a quick exit combined with a “well, that was a learning experience” attitude is the best course of action for all involved.
Your Basic Break Up
Of course, easier said than done, right? Where will you go? Where will you stuff go? Will Mr. Muggles stage a surprise attack as you pack? Well, even Rudy Giuliani did some couch surfing with friends when his marriage was on the fritz. So if you don’t have a place to transition into on the fly, hopefully you have a buddy or two willing to let you crash with them until you can find something more permanent.
As far as your stuff, that’s where we come in. It’s much easier to couch surf if you don’t come with, you know, your own couch. So while you’re figuring out your next steps, any one of our Manhattan self storage facilities can house your belongings in a jiffy.
As an additional bonus, we don’t ask questions besides the essentials and we don’t take sides—unless, of course, you really want to give us the dirt.
When the Situation Calls for Stealth
Okay, so there’s one more scenario that might apply here. It’s known as the “Seek n’ Strike” method of getting the hell outta Dodge. Essentially, you wait until the object of your ex-affection is out for the day, then you move yourself and everything you own out in one fell swoop – preferably before they return. This method is defined on the Urban Dictionary as follows:
A maneuver executed by one party in a failing, live-in relationship that involves the swift, stealthy relocation of all possessions elsewhere without the other party’s knowledge.
When it comes to this, you might want to call in the heavy artillery. Give us a ring – our concierge services can help you pack up and get out in record time.
As for Mr. Muggles? You’re on your own.